Below the Surface

Happy Wednesday!  Wait! Why is there a blog post on a Wednesday?  Well, the Polar Vortex has descended into our region and schools and business are shuttered as extremely cold temperatures and VERY dangerous windchills batter the land…you didn’t think people talked like that anymore, did you?  🙂

Before I share, I want you to know that my daughter gave me permission to do so.  For a couple of months, Felicity has been in counseling.  “Oh no! What is wrong?”  Nothing is wrong and Felicity isn’t unhappy with life AND even if something was wrong or if she was unhappy with life, counseling is a great place for her to be.  The truth is, at a very young age, Felicity experienced a traumatic event – the loss of her mother.  She was three years old when I had to share with her that her mommy was not coming home from the hospital and that she had died and gone to heaven to be with Jesus.  That was THE MOST DIFFICULT thing I have ever had to say to my little girl.  She was three years old, believed her daddy, and went back to her toys.  Over the past six years, Felicity has had to come to terms with the reality and depth of her loss.  I can (and do) listen, cry with her, pray with her, and direct her to the truth, but she is at a place — especially with the recent transitions in our home — where she needs the guidance of someone who can help her work through all of what she is feeling.

I was in a similar place a little over a year ago.  I was happy on the outside — cracking jokes, encouraging others through difficult experiences, and feeling very depressed on the inside.  Without telling anyone, I sought the support of counseling and I am very…so very glad that I did.  There is a great stigmatism…ESPECIALLY among people of faith…regarding mental/emotional health and the importance of counseling.  That is such a shame, too.  Those who seek support are “broken” and in need of “fixing” and the TRUTH is each of us are broken – regardless if we say or believe it.  Friend, if you are struggling with depression or something else that is too difficult for you to carry, please seek professional help.  I would be glad to help you find someone if you’d like.

This past weekend, during her session, Felicity and I were talking with her counselor about the reality of what lies below the surface of anger.  Here is an anger iceberg Felicity made to help her work through moments of frustration.


Yes, it is cute….Yes, Felicity is a little artist.  BUT, the tool is helpful for the shortest to tallest among us!  I had a similar tool that I used when I worked through what was below the surface of my depression.  I wasn’t just depressed.  I was fearful, hopeless, wounded, and lost.  I didn’t need one more person telling me how brave I was; what an amazing father I was; how positive I was, in light of all I had gone through.  I needed and found someone who said, “What’s below the surface?”  I needed and was reminded that my Heavenly Father knows me perfectly and completely.

He is NEVER inconvenienced by our sharing of what’s really going on in our hearts and minds.

He does NOT love us less because we struggle.

He is NOT impressed with our showy grit that is all about pushing feelings and pain to the back corners of our mind.

He IS READY to lovingly embrace us as we confront our truth, accept and experience His healing, and know…TRULY know what it means to be free and live an abundant life.


Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy. 

Isaiah 61:7

2 thoughts on “Below the Surface

  1. THANK YOU!!!

    1. Thanks Dona…of all places, the Church, needs to be the place to have an open conversation about our hurts and God’s healing.

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