Seems like an odd title to return to the blog after this brief time away, huh? With the end of the school year and a very relaxing summer, I have to admit that this blog has not been the number one item on my mind. So why the title? It’s not original. In Psalm 20:7, we read: “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.” I’ve known this verse for a while. Heck, I even know a tune to go with it! But this past week, God reminded me of the truth of this passage, following some very frustrating experiences.
On Monday, I discovered my front tire was leaking. I had saved and finished replacing my tires this past spring, so I was not thrilled at the idea of having to replace the tire again—so soon. I reluctantly took the car in (you know, because you need tires to work) and decided that it would be OK if I had to get a new tire, because I would just move this amount from this account. I had it all figured out. To my amazement, the tire did not need replaced. They patched my tire and I spent $10. Relief!
On Friday afternoon, I received a letter in the mail, informing me that my daughter’s health insurance had been cancelled two months ago. Wait? Two months ago? You mean the same insurance I had just talked with someone about the day before on the phone? The same insurance I had just paid the bill for August? I get a bit riled up over health insurance…for good reason. So, I called them and found out that there was cross over when Felicity’s insurance changed (long, unnecessary story to share with you), and the one was cancelled because of the other—resulting in both being cancelled. They said that all I needed to do was fax them a letter from my employer showing that there was a change. And that’s what we did Friday evening before our pizza. Phew!
Saturday morning, I woke up, the sun was shining, the birds were making my clothes…ok, that’s a bit of artistic license. Anyway, I woke up to an alert on my phone that my checking account was in the negative…it was in the negative-negative. I checked my account online and I thought for sure I was going to be sick. Another long story made short, for the past two-and-a-half years, I have been going back and forth with Social Security about a supposed overpayment to me in benefits, following Jaime’s death. It’s been a mess I have only shared with a few people. It came down to me sending them a check, them saying they hadn’t received it, me sending a new check (unfortunately not cancelling the 1st check), and then someone cashing both checks! Saturday morning, I couldn’t figure things out. I couldn’t move money from one account to the next, because I couldn’t cover the deficit. I freaked out.
Then…. remembering other times…times when things were really bad…when there was no money in any account…when money, tires and health insurance were the least of my troubles, I stopped and I prayed. I got down on my knees and I asked God to do what only He could do – what only He is qualified to do…take care of it all. While praying, my heart was calmed by Him saying, “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but James, you trust in the name of the LORD your God.” I said it over and over and over. I couldn’t fix this. He wasn’t asking me to fix it. He was telling me to chill out and trust Him to do what He does best.
After receiving my heavenly “chill pill”, the doorbell rang. “Who in the world is at my door?” Ok, honestly, I thought it might be that sign from heaven…you know, the person with an answer to the health insurance question, with the returned check from Social Security, seated on a brand new tire. Nope, it was the stump remover, coming to take a look at that pesky stump I couldn’t shift. He was a nice guy but I let him know of my current trial and that I couldn’t pay him at that time to do his job. He listened and said, “Well, how about you just mail me a check and I will get this stump out right now?” Yeah…God was on it…taking care of things like He always does.
We are so quick to assume God’s not working on our behalf when things feel or look a certain way—when the ideal amount in the checking account is not there—when we don’t have what we think we should—when healing is taking longer than expected—and when God answers our prayers opposite to what we had hoped. The truth is His name…His presence is enough. I say that with resolve, peace, and with some of the above items still not fully settled. Sometimes I do forget and trust in what I have or in my arrogant and faithless plan to figure things out. Those are my chariots and horses today. God help me…help us all to remember that those things are worthless compared to the everlasting power of the name of the LORD our God.