On April 3 of 2013, I wrote a letter to my former landlord and told them that effective April 30, Felicity and I would vacate our home in Florida. There really is nothing too impressive with that sentence, I agree. However, on April 3, 2013, I had no idea where I was going to work, let alone where we would live on May 1. The few people I told about my deadline were…well, let’s just say they were worried. They were worried for us (where we would live, where I would eventually work full time) and they were worried specifically for me (had I finally mentally broken down and responded to Jaime’s death by making an illogical decision?). But I truly had peace.
I didn’t have peace because I had been offered a job. That would actually happen a week later. No, I had peace because I was reminded that in the course of 6 months, God took care of every need my family had. Our financial security was gone. Our one vehicle repossessed. I had no clue of how to pay our bills, let alone Jaime’s rising medical needs. We were giddy when the social worker, at Jaime’s radiation treatments, would hand us $15 gas cards. Or, when a former student of Jaime’s or mine would drop off food or a donation towards our rent, living expenses, and Jaime’s medical bills. Slowly, but steadily, God raised up an army of people He chose to use to demonstrate that He had not forgotten about us. Even after Jaime was gone, I looked back over our finances and knew there was no way we would have ever survived…but God!
By faith, on April 3, 2013, I was able to write my landlord and let them know that we would be gone at the end of the month. I could write that because I knew He was faithful. How could God bring us through all of this only to now say, “Gotcha! Now you don’t have a home”? I received a lot of advice over those next few days about what I should do “if” my faith was wrong. You know, if this time I had my wires crossed in prayer. I wasn’t right, by the way. God just decided to provide my job in Pittsburgh the following week.
I face many challenges as principal and as a single parent. Times when I just want to figure it all out, claim the credit, and share the plan. But you know, God never asked what I think. He is well aware of my thoughts and my ways and they are far off from His best. Right now, and in the bends to come I want…I need to trust Him for who He is…who He has always been. I long for that April 3 kind of faith.