My Favorite Dream

I have always had the most realistic dreams.  Jaime used to be so amazed when I would share the intricate details of who had I spoken with, the texture of an object, even the smell of the room.  The most special dream I have ever had was on Tuesday, December 5, 2012.  I was seated at what appeared to be a table.  The man, a jeweler, took my ring finger and began to cut off my wedding band.  While I wasn’t in any physical pain, my heart literally hurt.  “What was I doing?” Then, I felt a slight squeeze of right hand and the dream was over.  I woke up to the new familiar – a pullout bed in Jaime’s room at the hospice facility.  I looked over and she was asleep.  She had been asleep since Saturday afternoon – when they sedated her.  I shaved, changed my clothes, sat beside her bed, and just chatted at her. I shared so many “Do you remember when?” stories those final days.  Of course, I was the only one in the room who did remember.  I then decided to tell Jaime about my dream.  And the most amazing thing happened.  When I told her about my ring being cut off, she slightly squeezed my hand.  I know…it could have been a reaction to all of the medication she was taking.  But I believe in my heart it was her good bye.  To tell you the truth, I believe in my heart it was her telling me it was ok to move on, that she would be fine, and that I wouldn’t need my wedding band in a couple days.  I was so moved by her squeezing my hand.  I tried speaking to her, thinking she would respond, but she didn’t.  She never again squeezed my hand or responded to anything I said.  But I did respond to what she had done.  The day after Jaime passed away, when God had provided the strength to get up and face the day, I went to a jeweler and had my wedding band cut off.  I was hoping for that supernatural squeeze of my hand, but it didn’t happen.  My heart hurt, though.  What did I do with the band, you might ask?  Well, I had them melt both of our wedding bands to make one ring.  I now wear this band on the ring finger of my right hand.  The inscriptions of wedding date have been removed, because I accept the truth that I am no longer married.  However, the band is a reminder to me of the love that we shared for a season.  I don’t look at my empty ring finger in pain, because I now look at my right hand and am reminded of the truth to the end of this story.  What was cut off and taken away has been refined, recast in His image and made to perfection. And Jaime is having the best days of her life!  Image

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